Single Dads

People that have read this website before might remember previous rants on No Child Left Behind. Thanks to the Science Blog, I now have yet more ammunition against one of my least favorite federal programs.

Bruce Fuller, lead author and professor of education and public policy at the University of California, Berkeley, noted that the strong advances in narrowing racial and income-based achievement gaps seen in the 1990s have faded since passage of ‘No Child’. “The slowing of achievement gains, even declines in reading, since 2002 suggests that state-led accountability efforts—well underway by the mid-1990s—packed more of a punch in raising student performance, compared with the flattening-out of scores during the ‘No Child’ era,” he observed.

“We are not suggesting that ‘No Child’ has dampened the earlier progress made by the states,” Fuller said. “But we find no consistent evidence that federal reforms have rekindled the states’ earlier gains. Federal activism may have helped to sustain the buoyancy in children’s math scores at the fourth-grade level, seen throughout the prior decade.”

Give the article a peek. I find few topics more aggravating than the state of elementary and secondary education at the moment, especially in light of the fact that I actually feel compelled to send my daughter to private school for at least the first few years of her educational career. That costs money, and the idea of spending money at this level doesn’t quite drive me insane, but it HAS, along with child support, drove me to hold down two jobs and a freelancing position that I’ll have to share with you someday.

Come to think of it, having essentially three jobs might just be insane after all.

“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?”

For a fundraiser for my daughter’s school, it looks like I will be forced to sell and buy either peaches or pears in two convenient sizes - 10 or 18 pound boxes. If anyone is in the Denver area, and in the mood for about 4 peach cobblers or so, feel free to drop me a line.

Speaking of which, does anyone out there know what the heck a person is supposed to do with 10 lbs of peaches?

If only they were selling steaks for their fundraiser this year. Ah, the joys.

This weekend, I had an especially enlightening visit with my daughter, who is now a bright and bushy three-year-old, and learned a particularly valuable lesson from her; it’s particularly easy to forget the things that you loved when you were a kid, so, on occasion, you need to make an effort to remember those things.

How did my wonderful, hyper-intelligent, shockingly obedient daughter teach me this, you might ask?

Therein lies the story.

On this particular day, I had decided that my daughter and I were going to study. She starts preschool in a couple of weeks, and I had long ago decided that MY daughter was not going to go to school deficient in any conceivable category or area of development. I had my list of various skills, and I wanted my daughter to excel at them all. So, as we watched Leapfrog DVDs, I tried multitasking by going through an alphabet book and plying her with orange juice and fruit. This worked for about 20 minutes before she decided that sitting in one place watching cartoons about letters and making words and repeating the Alphabet Song was as exciting as watching paint dry, and before too long she was riding my significant other around like a horse and closing herself in her room. Without Daddy.

This got me thinking. Obviously I was going about the whole thing wrong, at least for this day.

Then I had my revelation.

When my daughter returned from her room (leaving my girlfriend - now simply known as Horse, in her bedroom on the floor), I decided to go a completely different way. I grabbed a few chairs from the dining room table, an unused blanket, and a few pillows, draped the blanket over the chair backs, and stabilized the whole structure with heavier throw pillows and POW, I had a fort. Or, what my daughter called “House”. Her own house.

The change was amazing. With extra chairs, I built a window for the house. My daughter brought her alphabet puzzles, coloring books, Elmo toys and various other items into her house and promptly invited myself and my girlfriend inside, where she cleaned up and organized, and told us stories, and was more than happy to study the alphabet or do whatever other little tedious task that I might want her to do.

By the time that this particular little day was over, I had learned something deceptively important; remember to do things with your kids that you remember having fun doing when YOU were a kid.

Sometimes, in the midst of paying bills, getting insurance, doing yard work, and generally putting your higher brain functions on standby 5 or 6 days out of the week, one forgets that swinging on a swing, playing hide and seek, and having your own fort in the middle of the living room can be the most fun things in the world… especially if you are a three year old.

Lesson learned and not to be forgotten. Have a little fun. And now, back to the Food Network.

Here’s a recommendation for people out there that are parents of all stripes, single or not: read. You should never stop growing and learning, especially when you have kids, and I was fortunate to figure that out relatively early after the breakup with the ex.

With this in mind, I’ve read… a LOT. Fiction or non-fiction, mysteries, self-help, biographies, and all sorts of topics simply to keep my mind engaged. My significant other is a big help with this, and recently she picked this up for me: The Flip Side, by a guy named Flip Flippen.

This book is a self-help book that focuses on giving the reader what Mr. Flippen calls “the killer constraints” and helps you to identify which of the constraints that you possess, and then, shockingly, actually gives you information on how to battle these constraints and beat them for the benefit of you, your family, your social, and your professional life.

What an enlightening but easy read. Not long after starting this book I had discovered my own personal constraints, and motivated to begin an action plan to beat them, which was an empowering exercise.

Take a look at this book. You won’t regret it. The website is www.flipsidebook.com.

Incidentally, you might be wondering what the FIRST best motivational book is that I’ve read all year. I can hear you.

The answer?

The Last Days of Dead Celebrities by Mitchell Fink.

Figure that out.

Apparently, jest they do NOT.

Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

Thank Lifehack.org for this article.  Then read the article in its entirety.

I especially liked this suggestion:

Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.

This sounds like the most intelligent thing that I’ll read all week, and this week I’ve read some amazing things.

You mean that I shouldn’t ruminate over that girl that I dated in the 11th grade whose best friend I took to the Homecoming Dance?

I think I’ll sleep well tonight.

I always wonder why some parents don’t keep their kids studying (somewhat, at least)

during the summer.  Actually I’ve seen this behavior in person with others.  Now we get this article, courtesy of ABC.news.

Children look forward to the free time and warm days that summertime brings, but the outdoor season can also bring brain drain, with students losing up to 60 percent of what they’ve learned during the school year.

According to a new report from the Nellie Mae Education Foundation, brain drain during the first five years of school can hurt kids later on, in high school and college.

Fortunately for us, the article actually makes suggestions as to how and where a forward-thinking parent might find some educational help for their ‘lil ragamuffins during the sweaty season.

Personally, I like the artsy stuff; I like to go to the art museum and such places.  I think art stimulates the brain, and there are always plenty of paintings and sculptures to gaze upon.  If I’m wrong, I have a lot of time to figure it out with my three-year old, fortunately.

…and I don’t mean that one that you’re probably thinking.

I devote a lot of time thinking about things that I’ll tell my three year old daughter when she gets older, and lately, the topic that has crossed my mind quite a bit regards drugs. In our Paris, Lohan, Nicole, Britney crazed society, it probably doesn’t take too much of a mental leap to figure out why.

But the key thing that has crossed my mind is this: most parents probably do not spend the brain power considering how to approach the subject of use and abuse of substances, controlled or otherwise, with their kids.

I don’t want to be one of those parents, so after considering the question, I believe there might be a decent discussion out there on the subject. My proposal to answer the question “What would you say to your child about drugs?” is this:

“Honey, let me tell you something about drugs. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve ever taken them, but in the past I have. Really I have. But over time, I’ve come to some conclusions. Someday, someone that you think is attractive, perhaps someone that’s rich, , or powerful, or that you admire, will offer you drugs. And you might be curious, and you might think that perhaps if you do what they do or offer, you’ll be as attractive, rich, or powerful as they are.”

“This is not the case. Those people that are rich or beautiful or whatever WILL NOT feel as good as you feel the next day after they have made the offer. You will be smarter than them for not following along with the crowd. You will not be panicked, you will not be depressed, you will not be ashamed, and they will be.”

“I’m not saying that this will happen today, or even tomorrow, but eventually it will happen, and when it does, just try to remember what I’m saying right now, and don’t do it.”

I don’t know if that is the smartest thing that I could say, and I have no idea if it would work, but I think those are very close to the words I’d utter.

And if that didn’t work, I’d try again with something else.

In my humble opinion, that is what any Dad would do.