Sitting in my apartment, watching HBO, with my almost six year old daughter sleeping peacefully in the room next to this one, it occurred to me that I haven’t written in a while, and I have decided to start writing again.
Certainly it isn’t because I have more time than I’ve had in the last several months, I’m not bored, not depressed, nor morose. I’m happy. Why? Not because Grace has begun to really show aspects of her personality, and I’m sure over the years, I’ll see things that I don’t like, although I haven’t yet. It isn’t because I’m satisfied, because I’m neither that nor overly comfortable. Life is still a challenge; I still have many, many goals to fulfill. So why the quick change?
I’d like to think that I’ve embraced my life and that is the reason for my attitude.
I am a parent. Like many of you, I’ve faced roadblocks and problems. All single parents do. I suspect, also, that there will be many, many more to come. However, I am a parent; a single male parent, with a ex, with a girlfriend, with a home, with a job, with responsibilities that often times seem to be more than I can keep track of at one time, but I’ve learned, managed, and will continue to get even better at being the best parent that I can be.
Better yet, I have embraced my destiny, and for parents, non parents, and people, I truly believe that there may be no lesson more important than this.
I might only have my daughter half the time or sometimes a little less. Bills will continue to grow. School problem might loom. Anything could happen. But right now, my daughter’s room is not empty, and my skills will continue to grow, and I might not be totally prepared for the future, but I am working on it.
Some people are forever changed by a religious conversion, or a marriage, some other life changing event. I, however, believe that at this moment, the path that began when I first saw my daughter’s face six years ago in the hospital was the ultimate jumpstart to realizing exactly who I was, who I could be, and how I could get there.
I am a father. And I am working towards exactly what I need to do, which is to bring a wonderful contribution to our world in the form of my daughter, who I hope becomes a truly remarkable young woman.
It’s the ultimate job, and it’s the most difficult vocation that I’ve had yet.
But I think that I like it very much.