Single Dads

Not long ago, I took a position with another company for a day job, and honestly, I couldn’t be more pleased with my choice. I’m close to home and getting to my daughter or her school is quite easy, but these weren’t the primary reasons that I took the job. That got me thinking today.

If you’re a divorced parent looking for a new job for the holidays, or even just after the holidays, there are a few things that you should keep in mind for your hunt, besides just money.

1. Health Insurance

My new employer gives me the opportunity to cover my daughter as well as myself at no cost to me. This might be a benefit that you might be looking for as well - especially if you have an ex where the health insurance situation might be suspect. All kids need health insurance.

2. Life Insurance

Does your employer, or perspective employer, offer life insurance? In today’s times, you definitely, DEFINITELY need some life insurance, especially if you care about what might happen to your children were something critical to happen to you.

3. Family Friendly Policies

These have REALLY come in handy for me. My employer doesn’t mind me working from home, or taking time off for school functions. This can be a real boon for a divorced parent, as things tend to come up that you don’t know about necessarily until the last minute. Health situations, holiday parties, last minute pick ups, and other situtations can and will occur. How does your new employer (or old) look at these situations?

4. Other Benefits

Some employers offer benefits such as health savings plans, flexible transportation plans, and 529 plans directly deposited from your paycheck. Any or all of these can be a big help to a divorced or even NOT divorced parent. Does your prospective employer offer any of these or other less popular but just as valuable benefits?

Take a look at the full benefits offered by your prospective employer, and consider those before you make a leap into the unknown.

Priorities. When it comes right down to it, I have only three of note: first is myself, then is my family, finally would be work and friends. Why does this single dad mention that?

This single dad mentions that because at the moment, the my inner space is a touch out of whack. If you were wondering why I haven’t written as much lately, it’s not because of writer’s block; it’s because item no. 3 from above has finally begun to intrude on my primary concerns. In short, I’ve been a very busy dad lately, meaning, yes, I’m working too much.

I would imagine that this is a common problem with parents generally, and possibly single dads - especially, ones that are highly motivated by the thoughts of their children’ present and future - in particular. We must make money to pay for added responsibilities. Child support, alimony, clothes, health care… all of that costs money. Tack on other items like college planning, private schooling, and other optional items, and suddenly, it might never seem to be enough. So, if you’re like me, then you must work, and work like a dog sometimes, to pay for it.

Lately, though, I have been noticing little warning signs: not writing as much as usual, not sleeping as well, appetite fairly suppressed, and I realized that work and life are out of balance. I started writing on this website because it was something that I enjoyed, and because I wanted to leave my daughter little reminders of how I was thinking when she was a baby. That’s a me thing, and to shirk that in even the smallest thing means that am not looking out for myself. Hence, it’s time to take a step back.

Goodbye, part time job. Oh, how so painfully well I knew ye. Guess I’ll have to find some other way to drop a little extra in the college fund.

Come to think of it, I suppose that I just got my daughter a new pair of shoes last month, and they were pretty inexpensive.  I bet she’ll make the rest of the year just fine.