Single Dads

Yet another post on television. Sorry, but it’s a must. Thank MSNBC for this article.

CHICAGO - Watching television more than two hours a day early in life can lead to attention problems later in adolescence, according to a study released on Tuesday.

The roughly 40 percent increase in attention problems among heavy TV viewers was observed in both boys and girls, and was independent of whether a diagnosis of attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder was made prior to adolescence.

What struck me about this was that it immediately shook a core tenet of my personal beliefs, in that perhaps the reason that so many kids are diagnosed with ADD/ADHD is not that psychiatrists (or is that psychologists? I can never keep that straight) can make money off of the drugs that the end up prescribing the kids, but maybe, just maybe, the kids develop these disorders more now because we parents end up using the television as the babysitter altogether too much.

Another reason to toss the television, I’m afraid. Nature. I’m really becoming a fan of nature. Can we make going outside a spectator sport?

Today I started reading a book authored by Christopher Hitchens called God Is Not Great - How Religion Poisons Everything, and was struck by a couple of interesting facts:

1. Christopher Hitchens is a very angry person when it comes to religion, and

2. Everyone should read this book, whether they are religious or not.

I don’t know for sure, but I think that if everyone tried to be good people to themselves and to others, the world would be a much more pleasant place. So, I think that we should all reach out a helping hand to others and try harder to JUST BE HUMAN.

There’s a lesson that we should all teach our children.

Not long ago, I made a post called “Deadbeat Dads Drive Me Crazy” that elicited one of the more interesting responses that I’ve had in the few years that I’ve been posting articles on the Internet. Naturally, I’ll edit out some of the comment, but you know that you can really see it if you go read the article again. I’m sure comments are enabled.

Here it is: (more…)

This article on the Seven Deadly Sins of Kid Culture over at Creative Loafing.com (thanks be to Fark,) got me thinking about my little one and what she’s got going on, no doubt. Call me a hypersensitive dad, but kid culture, especially, it seems, for little girls, is horrific. This weekend I watched a television commercial in horror as some new incarnation of the Barbie, (more…)

As we get closer to the Parent’s Days (Mother’s and Father’s), expect to see more articles in the mass media similar to this:  The Dad Commandments.

Fatherhood, you might argue, is too complicated to be reduced to capsule form. But complexity only adds intrigue to the quest for guiding principles. And do we need guiding principles. After all the emotions, all the yelling, and all the laughter, I have distilled the duties and demands down to a decade of Dad dicta. Herewith, on behalf of all God’s children and their male parents, the 10 Commandments of Daddy.

Courtesy of MSN.

Overall, it’s an informative read at first glance, and how can you not be in favor of information that could concievably help you raise your kids in today’s world?  What’s funny about a lot of these columns, however, is they tend to give both really great advice and completely conflicting opinions.  Here’s an example:

6. Save your money, big man

7. Spend your money, tightwad

How could one possibly do both?  Shouldn’t you be consistent?

Perhaps you could distill all of the information down to one idea; perhaps a commandment that isn’t so simple to do in practice, but one can perfect over time.  Something like:

1.  Give your children all the time that you can with all the respect, love, and guidance that a person that is much less experienced and probably less emotionally stable than you deserves.

Or:

1.  Do onto your children what you, after much consideration, wish had been done onto you, and be ready to grow in your considerations every week, because the minds of your children probably will change at least that often.

Not sure.  I probably have more, but it’s early in the morning for me.  Your mileage may vary. 

I was impressed with this line from the article, though.

10. Love their mother

Hug Mom. Often. In front of the kids. Sure, sometimes marriages end, but the obligation to a woman doesn’t. Be grateful to her. Speak to her with respect. Try to make her laugh. Listen. Even if you’re not married to her, figure out how to love her.

Although spoken like a person who’s never been through a divorce, the author has a point… even if it’s a bit overstated.  Alright, maybe a LOT overstated.  Somehow, though, I think that you intelligent people out there can see the point.  So dads, take that piece of advice and put it next to the pipe and brandy, as you wear the cardigan, and you’re reading the paper in your favorite chair in the sitting room.

Quick!  Here’s a test:  is day care really good for your kids?

The headlines blared this week. “Does Day Care Make Kids Behave Badly? Study Says Yes” (ABC). “Child Care Leads to More Behavior Problems” (Fox). “Day-care Kids Have Problems Later in Life” (NBC). “Poor Behavior Is Linked to Time in Day Care” (New York Times). And, ironically, “Bad Mommies” (Slate).

It’s useless to rail at the press for leading with the bad news and for ignoring the researchers’ caveats that no cause-and-effect conclusions can be drawn from their data. Still, coverage like this feels designed to twit working parents. And it turns out that in the case of day care, the headlines and the stories really were alarmist—even wrong.

Thank the Slate for this.

Ladies and gentlemen, shall we face facts?

American culture is built on the dollar.  We live in a time of almost unfettered capitalism.  This is in itself not a bad thing.  However, the good must be taken with the bad; in order to have that new house on the block, to pay for that education, to buy that expensive car, or even to simply make ends meet, more often than not, both parents have to work.  Observation tells you this, a little research will bear out this theory.

 With this in mind, day-care businesses thrive.  Single parents, married parents, separated parents - they all use day-care, and there’s a lot of money to be made in day-care, if one is willing to be able to effectively and safely deal with several children that are not their own.  Good day-care is worth it’s weight in gold.

 That said, to say that too much day care is bad for kids is probably not as much of the problem as not enough parental involvement for kids.  Shifting the blame to day-care providers is…somehow disingenuous.  As a parent, you know if your child is getting unruly, and you should be able to sense if they might have problems socializing later.  That is a parental responsibility.

Watch.  Listen.  Learn.  Act.  Don’t play the blame game.