There was a pretty funny post over at yoga72179 titled Are You A Bitter Baby’s Mama or A Wise Single Mom? Take This Quiz And Find Out. Naturally, the post was aimed at single moms, but as a single dad, the temptation to read this post was too strong to ignore. Oh, and what wisdom was posted therein! An excerpt:
If you’re a single mom who’s been holding it down alone or simply dealing with a hard-to-take ex, it’s easy to get caught up in tit-for-tat dynamics. But theres a price we pay when we allow bitterness to seep in and engage in no-holds-barred power struggles. Even if the anger is justified and we believe the other person had it coming. What begins to happen is that same bitterness spirals into the other facets of our lives causing a domino effect. And sooner than you know it, it starts to dominate your thoughts, consume your conversations and pollute your spirit.
How true, how true. I was talking just the other day to a person similarly situated as I, as a single parent trying to get by. Fortunately, I’m in a position where my day job is in a skill type position, and I have the ability to work more doing part-time work and freelancing. For many, this isn’t the case, and this person’s situation with their child isn’t so great at all. But an interesting thing that they said is that it “simply takes too much effort” to be a bitter parent – and they’re right. Being a bitter parent is a net loss. It comes out to family, friends,
Being a bitter parent is a net loss.
acquaintances, the legal system (which is so pleasant to deal with already) and others. It steals your spirit, when spirit is one of the qualities that you need the most when you are a single parent.
High stress due to infighting with the ex over child-related issues? Exercise.
Can’t sleep because you’re always thinking about the next move? Read.
Don’t want to talk to the ex? Fine, but don’t avoid the issue. Your kids are at stake.
Being positive is the best, and most effective, form of therapy. Bitter parents raise bitter kids, which the exact opposite of the result you should be trying to achieve. Remember that.