Divorce happens. Here’s a guarantee: prior to every divorce that has ever occurred, someone had to stand up and take stock of their relationship situation and find it in some way lacking.
Adults in the real world have to consider the warning signs. Those indications will tell you either that it’s 1. time to leave your spouse, or 2. do the serious legwork necessary to make things better for yourself and your family.
Here are some rather obvious clues:
- You are spending more time at work, not because you love work, but because you don’t want to spend time with your spouse.
- You and your spouse no longer go to bed together.
- You dread weekends (or other times when you have days off) because you know that you’ll be at home, and your spouse will likely be with you.
- You or your spouse is cheating.
- You don’t want to do the things that you liked previously to do with your spouse.
- When you attend social or work-related events, you tend to or would prefer to leave your spouse at home.
- You or your spouse are ignoring your physical appearance or personal hygiene.
- Your kids are your only incentive to stay married.
- You or your spouse are drinking or using drugs much more than usual to achieve some altered state.
- Being with your spouse makes you unhappy, depressed, or indifferent.
- You or your spouse is physically or emotionally abusive.
Many couples go through some of these from time to time, but lingering problems such as these are all strong indications that something serious is wrong. Ask yourself some questions and provide some answers. What led up to your present feelings of doubt? When did the behavior start? Where do you see you and your spouse in the future? When you see yourself or your spouse slipping into any of these behaviors, seriously consider getting some additional, and hopefully professional, help. But if that doesn’t work, rationally consider the all your options before making additional life-changing decisions.