A Definitive Response To 6 Sneaky Ways to a Better-Looking Partner

Culture is an excellent propagator of divorces as well. Let’s prove that in today’s lesson.

Many years ago, I knew a woman that I’ll call Jill. Jill was an attractive woman, more intelligent than most, who was at heart, a nice and relatively well meaning person with an interesting personality and a decent person. She was a good cook, a loyal individual, and a snappy dresser. In short, she was a great catch for just about anyone.

Unfortunately, she had one major flaw.

I’ll call it “The Cosmo Factor”.

Everything that she knew about men she seemed to cull from the pages of women’s magazines. Cosmopolitan, Elle, and others were a continual staple of her reading diet. If she wanted to know how to impress a man? Cosmo had an article with the goods. Why did men leave their girlfriends? The answer was in Allure. Any and all answers to all of the burning questions surrounding the classic, awesome, and continual Battle Of The Sexes could be found in a pop culture magazine geared towards women. Each magazine contained to the gospel to her. None of her male friends had the courage to tell her how wrong those periodicals were, though… much to our detriment.

Eventually, we drifted apart.

Enter 2007. To my horror, I read an Internet article titled 6 Sneaky Ways to a Better-Looking Partner , and God help me, the first person that I thought of was her. Here’s the intro, via Yahoo.

Pride may be one of the Seven Deadly Sins, but your lover’s lack of pride in how he looks can be even deadlier – to your love life, that is.

Sure, dedication, intelligence, and a sense of humor are what really stir the chemistry between you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want your partner to feel like they’re on top of their game, looks-wise.

After all, a confident partner is a sexually motivated partner, and sometimes an extra dose of sensuality is all a relationship needs to go to the next level. But beware: Goosing your loved one into taking better care of himself can be dicey territory, and even the most polite suggestion that “maybe you need to lose a few pounds” can lead to somebody sleeping on the couch for a week.

The solution? Sneaky partner upgrades, the kind that are good for his or her health, as well as their libido. So if you want to motivate your partner to dress sharper, eat better, and get their butt down to the gym, you need to take a stealth approach. Here’s how to save their ego – and perhaps your love life.

As I read this, I stifled a scream. Please, not the return of women again trying to change their men. Aren’t divorce rates high enough in this country and others? Isn’t the level of resentment, among men and women, high enough, finally? Doesn’t anyone believe that men can read?

People, people. If you’re getting involved, and the thing that you want to do is CHANGE your partner, I can promise you you’re not doing it right.

And guys, before you start thinking that you are all clever, “Maxim” is a man’s answer to Cosmo.  Both magazines give false hope to clueless individuals.  I could have called this the “Maxim Factor”quite easily.

So, for this article, I award this comment on the article 6 Sneaky Ways to a Better-Looking Partner:

You have failed.

At no time in recent memory, has an article failed more than this one.

Please, never do this again.


5 responses to “A Definitive Response To 6 Sneaky Ways to a Better-Looking Partner

  1. Ok, I’ll admit the article was a little corny and maybe even totally off on a couple of suggestions. Overall, though, I thought it wasn’t bad. I would hope that my guy would want to look good for me as I would for him. I’ve not been so insecure as to imagine his keeping up with his exercise program is some kind of a threat to our relationship. Quite the contrary. I think men go looking when they feel shitty and when their wives don’t want to sleep with them anymore because, well, they don’t take care of themselves anymore. Fidelity doesn’t have much to do with thinking you’re God’s gift to women, but rather a lack of spiritual strength. Sometimes, a lack of morals or what’s really important.
    I don’t know. My ex husband blamed his porn addiction on the fact that we never had sex. But he was addicted to porn before, during, AND after our divorce. My not wanting to have sex had more to do with losing respect for him, because of his sneaky behavior.
    Just a thought – and another woman’s perspective.

  2. If you’re looking for perfection, first ask yourself if you would want a partner who shares the same physical attributes as yourself.

  3. I know this is an older post, but I thought I’d comment anyway.

    I love how the article starts our ambiguous, talking about “his or her”, but then the suggestions are all about changing HIM.

    And really, if a man is dedicated, not abusive, and keeps himself motivated at his job & at home, then there is no reason to leave him because of his looks.

    Those magazines are selling women a load of crap. You could also say that Maxim, FHM, Stuff, etc. sell men a load of crap, which is why I don’t read them.

  4. I don’t know guys – if you’re unhappy with the way you look – aren’t you a bit insecure in bed? I can see a grain of truth in this. But the question is which comes first the chicken or the egg? If the relationship makes you feel miserable you kind of let things go – physically. Then it’s a vicious cycle. I don’t know – I do HATE those stupid magazines. They’re all a load of crap. Thanks for writing this.

  5. those cosmo magazines can be dangerous! I don’t think I’ve read one since high school thankfully!


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